The City's Lights: Yoshino and the Creative Process and... August Rush

Art is a very tricky thing to write about, because its complexity. You've got someone who hears something, sees something, views something and you find that you have to record it somehow. It may be something that seems rather sane to other people and yourself, or it may be incredibly off the wall and just insane to experience. But you have to record it, hell you may even have to show it to other people, to have them look at/listen to/ read this thing that you know is truth. Then you pray that everyone else isn't crazy and can see what you've made. Or that you've made it right. 

There's no doubt as to whether or not what you've seen is true, it's all in the communication, and in whether or not others can see it. To you, it is truth.

Now there's a reason I included August Rush in this, a Clannad post, because he really is the younger (and purer) Yoshino. He hears something, and realizes that he wants to reproduce what he hears for someone else. He never once loses sight of the fact that it is something that he hears, that he finds beautiful, but it's something he has to share with his parents. Yoshino's story is almost the opposite, it's the dark mirror of it. He has songs, but doesn't know why he's singing them, and realizes eventually that he was only making songs for Kouko Ibuki and himself. That was the audience that mattered to him. The fact that other people heard was really inconsequential to him, and to August as well.

Does this make artists selfish, considering that they only really make things for themselves and a select group of people most of the time? I don't think so, to be honest. Human beings have a need to take what's inside their own private worlds and bring it to the outside, into the outside world. I know that when I make an icon I don't make it to horde, I make it because it's inside of me and I want it to be around me, not just inside.

The inner world and the outer world need to be the same. We all feel this. And that leaves me with a question, one that directly relates back to Clannad: do we all share in the same inner world? Are we really tapping into the same place?

The City's Lights: Yoshino and the Creative Process (Part 1)

So, I was watching After Story episode 12 yesterday, which has a pretty heavy significance for me, and I felt a bit of a blog post about Yoshino's backstory as it's presented here, in episode 12. 

Yoshino nails the journey of pretty much creative person... ever. You start out just wanting to make cool stuff, and eventually realize that what you make effects other people in a pretty serious way. Unveiling yourself in front of people causes them to change, and usually for the better. I mean, how could that not happen? Even if you're showing something really horrible (like a horror movie, say) it still hits people right in the heart and can get them to change. Self-revelation is relational, it's just that in art you don't necessarily know that you're relating!

Of course, finding out that you've been relating to a whole bunch of people without knowing it is paralyzing. I mean, you've just been told that playing in your sandbox and having fun is changing people's lives or (in the case of my iconography) realizing that people can glean information about you that you didn't necessarily think was obvious... yeah, paralyzing. What people do with that information entirely defines the rest of your artistic career. You can either realize that you should still focus on what you love and the others will relate to you focusing on it, try to make things specifically for the people watching, and/or just shut down immediately.

Well, Yoshino arrived at the first option after doing the last two, which is probably the worst route to take. Yoshino didn't do the right thing, didn't realize that his stuff needed to stay essentially self-centered, or... is it really self-centered to not focus on the others who are looking in on your creativity?  I mean, you're relating to things that you like, you're essentially relating to God and letting people watch.  Maybe that's why art is so beautiful. You're watching someone attempt to reach out into the black and get rewarded for it.

Hhhhhm... this requires a follow-up post. I'll get to that later.

The City's Lights: The First Episode of After Story

Well guys, it's that time of year again: yet another person borrowing my Clannad DVDs and watching the show. It seems to happen once or twice every quarter, so I was happy that this time it was my roommate, the inestimable Sparky. Maria and I got him to watch Angel Beats first (we convinced him by telling him there were guns) and, once he was hooked on that, I gave him the Clannad DVDs to watch. He got through the first season relatively quickly for someone on 18 credit hours and about 20 hours of work a week. So, he started After Story earlier this week, and Maria and I had the joy of watching the first episode of After Story with him. 

First things first: THE SHEEP ARE DANGOS!!! THE SHEEP ARE DANGOS!!! HOLY SHIT THE SHEEP ARE DANGOS!!! I can't believe it took me this long to figure it out, but to be honest I didn't really care to think about it until Josh emailed me and asked what the sheep were about. Now I look at them, and it makes perfect sense! They're the right shape, size, and the smell is what tipped me off... (the girl says they have a nice smell, like another certain little girl who says the dango has a nice smell). Anyway, now that that mystery's been solved...

This show has a special genius to it: it takes the final plot of the show and finds ways to repeat it throughout the show. Fuko, Kotomi, Tomoyo, Nagisa, the entirety of the first season repeats this cycle of introducing characters, identifying the problem, trying to solve the problem with just your own strengths and failing, and then calling upon the larger world to help in solving the problem and succeeding.  It's a beautiful cycle, one that writers should pay special attention to. 

The first episode of Afterstory manages to do this all in one episode with the awesomeness of a baseball game. Everyone gets together and plays for the common and personal good, and everything falls to Tomoya. Despite whatever misgivings and deficiencies he has, he is told that he can do it, and that Nagisa depends on him to get her home. Tomoya hits the homerun, much to his incredible surprise and joy, and logs in yet another memory-light for the robot to notice in the other world. It's a reflection of the last episode of the show in the clearest way, and is honestly the best bit of foreshadowing in the show.

Tellin'ya, people, the show is GENIUS.

The City's Lights: Some Clannad Questions From Josh

I'm not sure how active the blog is, so I will just email you some questions I thought of,

Hope you don't mind,

*****

Well, sir, you'll find that this blog is pretty damn active, and I most certainly don't mind. I'll answer as best I can.

Tomoya/Robot collects pain/junk, and takes it to Ushio/Girl, who turns it into actualized dreams/new things.

"She has the ability to collect junk and make something new"

"It's something special I can't do"

"If junk only takes shape by wishing from one's heart, then I couldn't do it alone...because I'm...not human."- Robot

All of the painful changes Tomoya has experienced, Ushio is able to take and finally make a good change.

Children do that, sir. Most of the show is about how children save their parents, showcased by Ushio.

[Also, potentially correlation between "finding our own tools to live" and "finding our own happiness"? I don't want to over-analyze, but there are so so many correlations I want to mention them all in case.]

[Also, what is the significance of "a world that HAD ended"? Two things, it seems like the Robot previously was in the other world, then went there, then returned. Anything to that? Then, why is the world "ended" and "sad"?]

[It's interesting how the girl is looking after the robot just as much as the inverse.]

Welcome to parenting, where the children save the adults while the adults protect the children. I honestly believe that children are God's gift to humanity and, without them, we'd all be lost. Fresh souls are necessary to help us remember all the truths that we forgot because idiots got to us and convinced us we were wrong to believe how good the world is.

[I think it only showed three sheep. What are the best parallels to them you have heard?]

Honestly, the best I've heard is that the sheep are Akio, Sanae, and Fuko. Beyond that I haven't really thought it out much.

[More potentially forced parallels: The other doll they tried to make, does it represent Nagisa? Then, specific relevance of the see-saw and the helicopter? I don't remember what events these were shown during, but these are just more thoughts.]

I would posit that the doll just represents them trying to form a family without Nagisa, which doesn't work. Or you could say that they're the dangos they hold to themselves and wish that Nagisa is there. I dunno, to be honest.

[Oooh, I noticed an inconsistency. The girl says "if only I could shed tears", but previously she did cry. I'm going to pretend this contradiction doesn't exist...]

Girls are contradictory. Feelings are contradictory. Funny how that works :P

[When the girl says she can't do anything anymore, does that have any connection to Ushio needing Tomoya to give up his bitterness before she can implement her wish? If not, what does the coming winter in that world represent?]

Yes, yes it does. Without Tomoya Ushio can't do anything anymore.

[Then there is the brilliant parallel between the Robot's regret of bringing the girl out, and Tomoya's regret of meeting Nagisa.]

More specifically Tomoya regretting ever having Ushio. Ushio's existence was something Tomoya regretted so strongly he abandoned Nagisa.

What is that world, and when is it?

It's heavily implied that each world is a separate mind of a person. Time doesn't exactly count in the mind, so the "when" doesn't really count. Tomoya and Ushio are connected supernaturally, thanks to the efforts of the town.

I'm hoping those questions were answered alright for your taste, Josh. Thanks for being so patient as I was on vacation in Colorado and I started the first week of school!

The City's Lights: Tomoya

There are a lot of reasons why I like Clannad, but I really think the primary reason is because of Tomoya, and the conflict that is within him, and within the hearts of every single character examined in this story. What's the conflict?

Accepting love.

It's probably the most difficult thing in the world to do, and yet so few stories talk about it. But how many people do you know that have good lives and yet are miserable anyway? Tomoya's story is their own, that of the person who has something in their life that makes the rest of it seem unbearable, no matter how small it may appear to the outsider. But the outsider's opinion really isn't what matters, is it? You have your issue, and until someone takes it seriously it's not going to be resolved. Clannad is about Tomoya's attempts to change his life so he can finally accept the love of those around him. And the world/God is willing to do everything it takes to help him do this, even rewind time itself when Tomoya finally realizes that he won't regret being with Nagisa.

See, the reason why Tomoya got his rewind was because he had a wish, and refused to use it. The episode where Nagisa dies is where Tomoya's real issue with life comes out.

Bad things happen to good people, and some people can barely take that. Tomoya happens to be one of those people.

Fortunately, however, Ushio gives him the opportunity to use his wish again, and Tomoya FINALLY makes the decision to bring Nagisa back, but at the cost of losing his internal bitterness that bad things have to happen for good things to flourish all the more in this world. This isn't some cliche "you have to do bad things for good reasons" bullcrap, but the legitimate knowledge that bad things that happen to you can lead to even better things in the future. It's a message that's extremely hopeful and, ultimately, really touches on what all good stories are about: good prevails, even if it takes a little bit of time to get there. As the Count of Monte Cristo says "Wait and hope"...

The City's Lights: Nagisa

My apologies about the long hiatus, work shifted around and I needed some time to adjust. Oh, and it doesn't help that I don't have internet at my house either. Here's the next part of the The City's Lights.

Nagisa really is the heroine of Clannad. No matter what you may think of Tomoyo and Kyou, Nagisa is the lady that Tomoya comes back to,  time and time again. A lot of people wonder why in the world Tomoya chose Nagisa, of all people, to be his wife. The sheer amount of Tomoyo and Kyou ecchi on the interwebs is enough proof of the fact that people think Tomoyo and Kyou are much much sexier than Nagisa, and the fact that there's an entire game about Tomoya and Tomoyo proves that Nagisa really doesn't have to be the one for Tomoya. In fact, come to think of it, there's pretty much no obvious advantage that Nagisa has over Tomoyo (sorry Kyou fans, but she's not really in the running at this point.  Nagisa and Tomoyo are too awesome). In fact, Tomoyo has much more in common with Tomoya than Nagisa does, especially at the beginning of Clannad. The two start at a very similar point, wishing to redeem themselves of their former life of being delinquents.

And that very well may be the reason why, come to think of it.

As of recently I've been discussing analytical psychology with my friend, Marty (the guy who introduced me to Clannad, ironically enough). We talked about the fact that everyone has what's called "the shadow" side of their personality. Essentially it's the underdeveloped part of someone's psyche that starts to get developed as part of a person's maturation. Essentially as you grow up you start to work on the parts of yourself that didn't get so much development as a child. The trick is to let  the shadow develop while not abandoning the rest of you, and to let them both integrate. This is essentially the reason why a lot of opposites attract: they're not really opposites, but emphasized different parts of a very similar personality to such a radical degree that they're now trying to cross back over, so to speak.

Which is why Nagisa and Tomoya are perfect for each other.

Throughout the entirety of Clannad, Tomoya and Nagisa affirm each other's strengths and weaknesses in ways that are... well... pretty damn cool. While they're not always patient with each other, Nagisa and Tomoya always accept the other in the end for exactly what they are, and since they're more similar than anyone else in the anime, help bring out the underdeveloped parts of each other into the light for other people to see. Tomoya helps Nagisa realize that it's OK to be her strong but prone-to-tears self, and vice versa. Hell, Tomoya cries just as much in Afterstory as Nagisa does in the first season! While Tomoyo does help him develop in a similar way, there's a vulnerability that Nagisa shows at the beginning that is enough to get Tomoya right off the bat.

This touches upon something that I think people miss a whole lot: the nature of what makes a good spouse. Notice that it isn't the one who's sexy, the childhood friend, the annoying little girl who tickles our parental instinct, or even the best friend, but the one who is always there. The world is so caught up with the touchy-feely of true love that it forgets that friendships break, sexual attraction wanes, loyalty can be broken, and even the parental instinct can be warped! On the flip side, all those things develop over time, so the question is, will that person be there tomorrow? Cause if they will be, and if they're not trying to hurt you, that's what's important. Nagisa was the only one of the bunch who did this every step of the way.

No wonder Tomoya missed Nagisa so much, she was the only person who ever helped him love all of himself, good, bad, strong, and weak. There's a bond there that goes so much deeper than that of any friendship that it really is a stroke of genius that those two wound up together. In the end, those two are the only ones who can be there for each other. No one else will do.

Which is one of the points of the anime, really. Some people are irreplaceable, so much so that, after a point, they are the only ones who can reach you.

Excuse me, I need to go cry. Again.

The City's Lights: Akio's the Man of the Hour

I've said before that this is the most important speech in the entire anime, bar none. If I had to do away with all of the masterpiece that is Clannad and show someone one moment in an effort to sum up the show, I'd pick this one.  It carries the crux of why Nagisa and Ushio are the way they are, and defines what the 5-year old heroine will be like  so well that, when she comes along in about twenty or so episodes, she's totally accepted as if we expected her to be like this. I mean, considering how Nagisa was originally, why would be Ushio be any different?

Well, three main reasons, really.

The first is that I doubt Akio really had words for this before the speech. Part of it just might be a simple miscommunication on the part of Akio and Sanae to Nagisa: it was so fundamental to their existence they forgot to talk about it. But of course, that's not too helpful to a girl whose self-confidence has been destroyed by years of illness. Nagisa's reaction is pretty darned spot-on for someone in that position. So Nagisa grew up without the assurance that she so badly needed, but had no idea how to ask for. Once Nagisa finds this out she quickly becomes much more self-confident and a very strong woman in her own right. She stands up herself quite a bit after this incident, and even convinces Tomoya not to run away from the town, in the calmest and strongest scene that she has before Ushio's birth.

The second reason dovetails into the first: now that Akio and Sanae know they need to talk about their ideology, they never shut up about it. They constantly remind Tomoya and Nagisa of their love for them, and do everything two parents possibly can to reassure their dream. Why on earth would that change with Ushio? If anything, they would let Ushio know that she is their dream, and that everything is for her. A child raised in an enviroment like that would be very strong, wouldn't she? She'd know that her dreams are her parents' dreams, and that she should reach out for them with all her might. Huh..



Oh gosh, more on that sob-fest later.

The third reason why Ushio is different is because of, well, Tomoya. Tomoya was a rather active little kid, filled with his own ideas about the world. But, unlike Tomoya, Ushio was raised with the knowledge that the world was a very good place, even if it wasn't perfect. She does in 5 years what it took Tomoya to do in 18, essentially.

But none of that would have happened without this play. The entirety of the first season was for this powerful moment, where we realize that Ushio's going to be OK without even knowing who she is...

The City's Lights: Tomoyo

Clannad is a novel. It has its themes, its arguments, its ending point. Every little part of Clannad adds to this point, and the episodes after Kotomi's arc are no exception. While they focus on a number of things and characters, the most important character of the bunch is Tomoyo.

As I've stated before, all the girls from Clannad are variations of Ushio, the girl who will help Tomoya save himself. Tomoyo's contribution to the show is her absolute determination, combined with a trust in Tomoya that the other girls (save Nagisa) don't show. Don't believe me? Fuko was there just as much because of Nagisa as she was for Tomoya, so she doesn't count. Kotomi, once confronted with her past, shut herself up and only came out when she thought it was good to do so. Tomoyo? Well, she listens to Tomoya from the instant she meets him, and seems to connect with him in a way that none of the other girls do. She hangs on his every word and, thanks to his advice, impresses everyone so much that they elect her Student Council President. This reminds me a lot of Ushio's wish to stay with Tomoya based on three days of knowing him alone. There's a beauty in the simplicity of such a decision.

And that may be it. Tomoyo is very simple. She sees something that she wants and reaches for it, regardless of cost (as shown in the Alternate World episode). She and Ushio both see what they want and go for it with their whole soul in a way that is as beautiful as it is purposeful. More than Fuko, Tomoyo and Ushio are set upon their goals. Which is, and will always be, family. Tomoyo, while not quite as obvious as Fuko and Kotomi, is no less important than either of them.

Tune in next week, as we cover the man of the hour, Akio!

The City's Lights: Cute as a Button

Oh gosh, Kotomi... how cute you are. So very very... oh.... wait.. this seems familiar. 

Nah, couldn't be. They wouldn't. Right? The fact that it's Jun Maeda not-withstanding. They're both very very cute girls, everyone loves them, they lose their parents as kids, everyone loves them, and when they both need something the entire world steps up to the plate and gives them what they need... interesting. The fit's pretty damn close to perfect, actually, and I'm not just talking about their situation. Both of them are themselves to such an extent that people can't help but want to help them with their goals. Kotomi preps us for Ushio, by showing that it's possible for people who never even met Kotomi can be impacted by her plight and that they'll want to help. The fact that it's a suitcase is of no consequence,  because the incident with Fuko proved all that people need is a physical object to help them remember or to know what's going on. Kotomi's impact is to show the possibility of a world-wide impact, which is crucial for poor Ushio.

So far, we've learned that not only do you not have to have been "present" to have people connect with you, but that they only really need your name and a cause to help with a miracle. Interesting, because next week we'll meet up with Tomoyo...

The City's Lights: Fuko the Blueprint

Spoiler Alert! As you may have guessed, I have no intention of holding back about the end. If you read this without watching the whole show, whatever you see and read is your own responsibility. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna write this thing now. 

A lot of people have asked me why Fuko's story is the first arc.  They're off-put by the oddness of her story, by her, by... well... it's Fuko! These same people ask why Kotomi wasn't shown first, since she's a  bit easier on the brain, not to mention reality.  What these people don't seem to get, however, is that Clannad is not a serialized TV production, but a serialized adaptation of a visual novel. These are chapters in one long story, not a bunch of smaller stories that are interconnected. Like any good novel, Clannad's chapters build up the body of a thesis the author has about reality. The beginning chapters lay out the problem and the basic blueprint for solving the problem. The later chapters put this blueprint into action, albeit in a way that's different than the blueprint. 

Fuko's storyline is that blueprint. 

Consider the problem: Tomoya is unhappy and his family is broken. Solution? Get a bunch of friends and make a new family.  Something that won't fall apart. Tomoya already chose Nagisa, even if he isn't completely aware of his choice yet. The issue that comes up is that Tomoya believes he can do it alone, that he's able to carry on without the help of others. While he helps others, Tomoya doesn't really accept all that much help, and even then it's after an argument. This gets exacerbated even worse in After Story, where Tomoya receives the help of his new in-laws with no grace whatsoever. Tomoya believes he is an island, an entity unto himself...

OK, he's wrong here.

And here too. Funny, that...

Fuko's the first arc because she initially shows Tomoya how to save Ushio: by calling on the people of the world, on reality, on God to solve the problem. Tomoya and Nagisa's parts are to help Fuko realize that she can and should ask, to have faith in, well, everything. She shouldn't shoulder the burden by herself, and neither should Tomoya! The thing that distinguishes Fuko's arc from Kotomi is a sense of almost irrationality about Fuko that we never witness in Kotomi. Kotomi believes she can solve the problem, hell, she doesn't think there is a problem with what she's doing. Fuko, however, knows what she wants, she just needs to know to ask for it. Her cry is desperate and strong, and mirror's Tomoya's own cry at the end of After Story in a way that's almost too much of a match to not notice after watching it for the 50,000th time! Also of interest is the fact that both these characters are in somewhat similar situations. Tomoya is paralyzed by his depression and his hurt, and Fuko was banged up that she's in a coma. But even there, at these characters' low points, they find people willing and able to help them. Fuko gets Tomoya and Nagisa when she needs help. Tomoya gets Ushio and Akio.

To keep cementing the point Fuko shows up at certain points of Tomoya's life where he's wondering what he's going to do. She keeps pushing him towards asking for help, for getting aid, for not striking out on his own, even at the cost of hilarity. She keeps trying to show Tomoya what he unintentionally showed her: you must ask for help, because only with others can your goal be reached. Fuko is at the beginning, because you need to know what's going to happen at the end: a miracle.

The City's Lights: The Decision to Be Better

As always, I would like to thank Clannad Central for all their lovely videos. Thanks, guys, for all your help with The School's Trees and now, with The City's Lights. It's much appreciated.

 


To me this is one of the most interesting clips from well... anything... I've ever watched. Most of it is just Tomoya complaining about how much life sucks, with a bit of advice that's spoken as much for him as it is for Nagisa. There's nothing really all that revolutionary about a bitter teenager complaining, really. But something really important does happen here. Tomoya meets Nagisa, and they make the decision to be better people.which is what the next few episodes are for. Tomoya and Nagisa attempt to break out of their respective funks, each in their own way.



ERHEM. In their own ways!!!

What I found so odd about these beginning episodes was how intentionally awkward the writers made Tomoya and Nagisa. Both of them had no real indication for romance at all, and it showed. The only thing really connecting the two of them is their shared moment. There isn't a magical "it all gets better" button. It's long and slow and arduous, and the two of them have to wrestle with their own inner crap to be able to make this decision. Ultimately, however, they both want to be better people, and that discontent with being less than what they can be is the thing keeping them together for the first four episodes of the show.



And then they meet Fuko.

The City's Lights: Introduction

If you've paid any amount of attention to this blog, then you'll know of my fanatical-obsessive love of the show Clannad. As a matter of fact, I love Clannad so much that was originally why I started blogging! So I went and started up my own Clannad-based blog. That blog, The School's Trees, very quickly turned into something I was genuinely proud of. Which is why, when it was done, I ended it. As an artist, I knew that thing was done and needed stay that way. So I did the only thing I thought would actually do the blog any credit. Now, granted, I've made a few posts on The Kitchen Sink that are a continuation of The School's Trees, but that blog ended a year ago. It's done.

So why am I starting another Clannad-related series of blog posts and reflections? Well, beyond the obvious nostalgia in covering Clannad, there are a few good reasons. First is that The School's Trees was a blog that I let be derailed by my own need for catharsis. The Week of Tears (where I covered all the key emotional scenes in Clannad in a single week) was not something I had in mind at the beginning of the show. I wanted the blog to be a bit more objective, but realized it was something I needed to write about. Other people needed to know what had happened, so I wrote about it. But that one thing derailed most of what I had in mind for my portion of the blog. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm glad I did it! I don't regret writing about my experiences with the last half of After Story in the least. But at the beginning of that blog I had made a goal: prove Clannad was a Catholic/Orthodox work. I don't think I did that. Oh, sure, I made a case for it at the end of the blog, but I don't think that was really the best job I could have done. So I'm going to try again.

The second reason is, again, a matter of pride: I don't think I did a very good job writing down my thoughts. When I re-read The School's Trees I saw how convoluted and jumbled it was, and that if people followed me at all it was probably in spite of myself. Disagree if you will. I'm not going to change my mind. I think I could do a better job.

The third reason? Well, it's more of a variation on the other two reasons, but different enough. I have something a bit different to say this time around, so I want to say it.

The reason for the name change is simple: it fits the theme of what I'm going to cover. Clannad is about approaching life together. It's about community and family. I can't think of a better way than calling it The City's Lights (OK, I suppose I could call it The Big Dango Family, but that's been done already!).

So buckle up, people. This is gonna get interesting... (hopefully not in the Firefly sense, but with Clannad you can never tell...)